I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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