She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize