hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
