walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
