I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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