I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
