had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
