At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
