Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
