BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
