woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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