We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
