no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize