he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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