dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
