I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
