Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize