Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
