About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
