I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sober January is a disaster.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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