Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
