I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This is the high leading the old right now
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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