How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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