We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
