bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
