Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
