i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
