College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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