You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
