i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
