She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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