You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
