Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
