i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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