I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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