Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
