evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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