So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
