her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
When are your genitals available?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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