We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
