i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
