Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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