i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize