If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
