Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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