Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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