Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
