I will die if light touches me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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