god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
