I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
