i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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