Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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