Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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