is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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