I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
