I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
