420 ftw
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
