i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'd cum for enchiladas.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
