i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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