Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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